Appetites, Entertainment & Life

 I recently posted on my other blog about my dental situation and how it affects my eating habits. Since I've been without teeth (and awaiting dentures), I think so much about food. I also realize that so many types of appetites affect me (us) - not just our appetite for food.

One of the things I pray quite a bit about is my different appetites - food, attention, gossip, and many other (often) unhealthy things.

When I first got serious about living my faith, music was one of the things I had trouble shedding an appetite for. I grew up listening to all sorts of music (including gospel and other Christian genres) but my favorite artists were mainstream pop, rock, and R&B. Almost none of those were helpful to my Christian life. They actually fed a lot of my other unhealthy appetites - mainly lust. Still to this day, there are songs I cannot even hear in passing without a stirring of some sort of fleshly feeling. Walking through a grocery store once, I heard someone's ringtone playing the opening bars of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On". That's never aroused anything good in my thoughts!

For me (for a lot of us, I'm thinking), music is one of the best tools the Enemy uses to get inside our heads. Music is something that can get access to our brains without us even realizing it. We hear a harmless-sounding song like "Imagine" by Lennon and maybe don't understand what he's asking us to imagine. No heaven? Why would a follower of Christ want to imagine that? Probably none of us do, but Lennon's voice and music lull us with a Satanic beauty. The same goes for songs like the one from another Beatle, George Harrison's holy-sounding-but-hellish "My Sweet Lord." His "lord" is not the Lord I serve. But, again, we hear the melody and the word "lord" and our brain thinks it's hearing good things.

I'm way more aware these days of how sneaky music can be. Another entertainment medium - television - is one I am just learning to watch with a discerning eye. Still, I struggle to give up some of the shows. 

Recently, I got access to Hulu and started bingeing "Boston Legal". It's funny, snarky, witty, and stars James Spader (of "Blacklist" and "Pretty In Pink") on whom I've always harbored a mostly harmless celebrity crush. It's harmless in that even if I ever did meet him, I'd never act so silly as to show my crush. I'm strongly in the camp of never meet your heroes crushes.

Anyway.

The show is a good watch but probably not healthy. It's certainly not helpful to me as a person of faith. I've watched it in the past but seeing it fresh, I realize how awful it is in terms of the behavior and ideas it pushes. One of the female characters is smart, pretty, and very life-capable but lives proudly as a sleep-around chick. Her main role is to promote the whole "friends with benefits" lifestyle. From her viewpoint, it is seen as healthy, liberated, and normal. I guess these days it is normal but normal does not mean right or healthy.

Spader's character - highly intelligent and ruthless - is that of a deeply damaged soul. He wants everything that comes with the richness of love and intimacy but pursues random and careless physical sex. The character is, of course, extremely liberal and seems sure about everything pagan but is very unsure of God and the purpose of "religion". 

William Shatner plays well off of Spader's. Their friendship is admirable but twisted. They are both damaged but validate each other. My worldly eyes see their camaraderie as something to envy. My discerning eye however sees this partnership promoting dangerous ideas. Theirs is a friendship that makes two bad people look likable. 

There is one character who is more comfortable living as a cross-dressing sass, reminiscent of Flip Wilson's Geraldine. He's very likable and, in a lot of ways, draws the viewers' sympathy (or empathy). But his cross-dressing is never portrayed as anything but "quirky" and not that off-putting.

Other characters are just as bad as those mentioned. The more conservative-leaning characters are shown to be uptight or buffoonish and mostly undesirable. Older characters on the show are just as rowdy, randy, and sexually loose as the others. Except for the, you know, uptight "weirdos".

Yeah, most of the best-promoted shows are not something I should so gleefully watch. "Living Single" (the precursor to the whiter-casted "Friends") promotes, on one hand, the idea that people of color are just as smart and accomplished as any other race. On the other hand, they are promoted as just as morally loose and spiritually confused as characters on most shows. Any "religious" characters are usually shown as being silly, foolish, or not truly "Christian" at all.

Reaching way back, I will mention "The Godfather) movies and books. I noticed that out of all the ruthlessness shown by the characters, as a whole, the Mafia families are touted as being better at governing than other groups of people. The admiration shown for the "codes" the families live by is more prevalent than the horrendous lack of respect for life. Don Vito is a wise and careful administrator of Mafia justice. His Consigliere is shown to be smart calm and in control of his emotions. Then you get the broodingly sexy and attractive Don Michael Corleone. Even most of the women - good Italian ladies - are willingly blind to the deadly culture of their men.

Still, even though I can see the flaws in this kind of entertainment, I am drawn to it. I often tell myself that I'm just fascinated with it and enjoy perusing these shows with discernment but, truthfully, I just have an unhealthy appetite for watching them.

This is a strange world we live in, isn't it? I mean, for us Christians. I am still learning and growing and reigning in my fleshly appetites. It's a daily struggle. The spirit and the flesh - the willing and the weak. 

Pray for me and for all of our brothers and sisters dealing with worldly appetites. 

Peace

--Free

P.S.: Here is something that Got Questions says about entertainment. I found it interesting.

Temporary Life & Eternal Afterlife

 There are times when I can't help but think about the people I have lost. My parents, siblings, other family members, and close friends. Tonight, I was thinking about a niece who died young (just 36 years old). Her death was, for me, the hardest because she was so young and her passing was so unexpected.

Maybe this is weird, but I am always amazed that people spend so much time avoiding thoughts of death. I've always felt that we should spend more - or at least as much - time thinking about death as we do thinking about life. We are alive for a finite period but death is forever. Death (no matter what you think Death is) will be for eternity.

I don't mind thinking about Death because, as a Christian, I know that dying will be the entry into a new life; eternal life. I can't imagine what Death will be to those without God. I guess I wouldn't want to think about a Godless eternity either.

When my sister died, our grandnephew (who was extremely close to her) was too young to understand what that meant. My best friend sent his mother a book to help him deal with the idea of my sister being gone. That book was called "Where Are You?". That's the question I ask whenever someone is no longer alive. If they are saved, I know they are with Jesus but I wonder what that must be like. If they were not saved, I wonder what that must be like.

As I was thinking of my young niece, I was wondering what she must be doing in eternity. Death into eternity (eternal life in the presence of God or eternity without God) is such a huge and important concept. I never have been able to wrap my mortal brain around it.

Dead is forever. For those who live their mortal lives without God, death will be an eternity without Him. That's Hell enough for me. Without God is something that I can't (and don't want to) imagine. Being eternally out of His presence. 

I was listening to the comedian/actor Ricky Gervais speak on reasons for his Atheism. His logic sounds as nonsensical to me as I'm sure my faith would sound to him. I think what surprises me about generally intelligent people like Gervais and other Atheists is the finished sureness of their "faith". They have faith that there is no God just as I have faith in God. I don't have blind faith and there are times when I have to re-examine my belief. What I wonder is if Atheists ever re-examine their beliefs. Is there faith blind?

Some Atheists accuse Christians of believing out of fear or lack of intelligence. Yet many of them believe what they do out of anger or pride. I don't personally know a lot of Atheists but when I hear most talk about why they don't believe in God, I hear a lot of anger, grief, and/or pride. They can't understand why "a loving God" would let sickness or agony exist. Some of them talk about a personal loss that turned them away from believing in God. I always wonder (especially about seemingly intelligent Atheists) why they don't try to understand God's holiness. The Bible explains why there is sickness, evil, loss, sorrow, etc. But most Atheists have too much pride to accept the fact that our sin caused that. Most Atheists have decided that they are more important, smarter, and kinder than the God of the Bible. Since they can't understand His ways, He must not exist. That's childish and silly. 

Understand that I am not being dismissive of the doubts of Atheists. I had doubts. I had to keep following the question of "Why?" to the point where I found the answers that led me to God and not away from Him. It's my contention that people who cannot think past their pride cannot get to the real answers they seek. 

I think that the best example of someone who chased the answers to every "Why?" is Lee Strobel. He went on to write "The Case for Christ" (Wikipedia gives a synopsis of the film version.). His skills and mindset as an investigative journalist urged him to keep chasing down the questions and answers. For something so important as our eternal life, we should all be as curious and diligent in finding answers.

I pray for the people like Ricky Gervais and others. I feel for their pain and loss or whatever hurt caused them to decide to ignore the existence of God. I hope that they think about Death enough that they can look past their pride to find Jesus's gift of salvation. It happened to me, it's happened to others. It can happen to anyone.  I'm thankful every day that it happened to my niece before she died. 

Peace

--Free

Faith, Gratitude, Vanity & Manners

 I've talked quite a lot on my other blog about the dental work I am having done. Sarcoidosis has bone damage (or weakness) and bone loss. I can easily fracture my ribs and, in the past 3 or 4 years, the bone loss caused me to lose teeth. 

When things got to the point where eating was difficult, I decided to get dentures. I can't get implants because of the bone loss. So far, I've had all the extractions done in 2 stages - first the upper teeth, then the lower ones. At this point, I have to wait 6 months for complete healing before I will have dentures. Here are the thoughts I've had during this process.

On Faith:

I have gone through a few periods of self-pity in the 13 years since my initial Neurosarcoidosis diagnosis. However, mostly, I am so thankful that God has helped me deal with everything. I know for a fact that I would not have made it without my faith. During my personal B.C. (Before Christ) years, I would have crumbled under such a situation. I often think of Romans 8:28 -

“All things work together for good to those who love God.”

That biblical teaching is a concept that has been shown over and over in the lives of many.

On Gratitude:

Every day that I wake up - no matter how I feel physically or mentally - I thank God. I know that there are people with this and other diseases (or with none at all) who didn't get the privilege of seeing another morning. I'm also thankful that I live in a time when there is more treatment for diseases. I'm truly thankful for having had wonderful doctors and nurses.

Whenever I go through a bout of depression, I feel like I can't see anything but darkness but I do know that the light of Christ is there for me. And if you don't know how deep depression can drag someone, count yourself blessed. But if you have suffered from depression, the blessing is that you can relate to someone else who suffers. So I count my depression and anxiety as blessings. That goes back to Romans 8:28 in another teaching.

On Vanity:

In my B.C. life, I was a bit vain. Even though I was young, slim, and fairly attractive, I would worry if I got a tiny blemish on my face. I would focus on that little physical (and temporary, mind you) imperfection to the point that I was calling attention to it when no one might have noticed. I once got rained on walking into the building at work. The moisture ruined my hairstyle. It bothered me so much that I almost couldn't do my job throughout the day. I realize now that vanity is so immature and temporal. These days, I'm thankful to be breathing and walking upright!

As you can imagine, having all my teeth removed changed my face - a lot. Without teeth, I'm jowly and have sunken lips. Smiling is not really what happens when I try to! I'm pretty sure I scared a small child the other day. 😄

My dentist warned me about what my face would look like and since I have to wait so long for dentures, he suggested wearing a mask when I go out. I did wear a mask the first couple of times I was out. I probably will wear one when I am going to be out in public for more than a few minutes. However, I haven't been wearing one when I am inside the apartment building. 

I know what I look like, but I know why I look like this for now. I think that wearing a mask every single time I step out of my apartment is ridiculous. But, even when I just had the top teeth out, there were times when one person made me feel very self-conscious...

On Manners:

The very first time this one certain person (and this is a grown woman with children, mind you) saw me without my top teeth, she expressed humorous shock. I understood that. It was the first time she had seen me that way. She'd known for months that I was seeking a dentist to prepare me for dentures. She had been one of the people who encouraged me the most. Almost every time I saw her, she would ask if I had made an appointment. Suddenly, she went from being encouraging and supportive to making me feel awkward.

After the first several times she made some remark ("You just look so weird!" or "I can't get used to looking at you like this") I was over it. 

This woman has not yet seen me with all my teeth out. I am just waiting for what new thing she has to say the next time I see her. And I have been praying that I can be mature (and not-petty-at-all) when I do hear what she has to say... You would think that a woman who has children and (hopefully) has had to teach them good manners, would know better. 

I was hurt, upset, and confused by this woman's actions. Was she trying to hurt my feelings? Was she joking? (She didn't seem to be.) The only thing I can think of is that she might be going through something herself. I don't know, but maybe that's why she either doesn't know or doesn't care that she is being rude. 

In contrast to that woman, another of my neighbors had a different response. I was stepping right outside the door of my apartment to do something when she was passing by. I think I must have ducked or looked some kind of way because she stopped to speak to me. She asked how the dental work was going and then she said something along the lines of: "I'm glad that you are a Christian woman and not trying to hide. I don't know why more people don't worry about their heart than how they might look."

Okay, it was a weird way to encourage me but I know this woman and I know that she was being sincere. I thanked her and mentioned that I wished more people could either be kind or keep their opinions to themselves. We both laughed about that and she went on her way.

I was brought up to be gracious and to not make anyone feel bad about themselves. My mother used to teach us that we never know what people are going through and how our words or actions might affect them. This is what is going to help me to not be mean to the rude woman. I could drop a heavy-handed hint by letting her know that I heard her all the other times she had something to say. 

Anyway. Maybe some of this post will help someone else who's dealing with something in life. Let's all stay prayerful.

Peace

--Free