Human but Not Hopeless

 In my daily reading today, I ran across a couple of verses that especially struck me hard. My reading was Psalms 106 - 107. Here are the verses  I did second-takes over:

• Psalm 106:32  "They angered him at the waters of Meribah, and it went ill with Moses on their account"...

My thought was: a fit of momentary anger - a heat-of-the-moment reaction - cost Moses being able to go into the Promised Land. The same people that he had stood between and begged mercy for so many times (Psalm 106:23 for example) when they had angered God are the same people that cost him this. 

I am a better person in my older age but I once had a horrible temper. I was very quick to get offended and I had the ugly habit of slapping people. I don't know how I made it to this age without someone killing me for hitting them like that. There are people who are in prison or sitting on Death Row for something they might have done in a flash of anger. 

• Psalm 106: 35-36 ..." but they mixed with the nations and learned to do as they did. They served their idols, which became a snare to them."

My mother and father raised me to be polite and upstanding. When I got to be a teenager, I began to rebel a bit. I was polite and I was, for the most part, upstanding. But I was fascinated with other teens who were not raised as I had been. I started smoking as a teenager after a friend let me try her cigarette. Her parents used to purchase a carton for her at the military commissary when they purchased their own. At first, I was just experimenting with smoking - to see how it tasted and felt - then I thought it made me look less goody-goody and made me more acceptable to other kids. I didn't quit smoking for good until about two and a half years ago. I still sometimes crave the ritual of lighting a fresh cigarette and enjoying the inhale/exhale routine. That's about 41 years of a bad habit that started with "I'll just try it once".

• Psa 107:13-14  "Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart."

This is one of many parts of the Bible where I immediately think, "This is my testimony!"

Although I was "raised in the Church", I didn't always understand what "being delivered" meant. When I actually turned to God with all my heart, I finally realized what it means to be free. I'm not free of debt, illness, or any suffering in general. But I am free. I have been brought out of the darkness that I was in. I no longer live under the shadow of death. I no longer have my hopes based on how much money I have in the bank, my looks, my intelligence, my own personal ability to withstand life. I rest in every promise that God has made to me.

It's hard for me to explain what I mean but while I am still bound to this body and it's weakness, I am free. While I am still bound to money or lack of money because of bills and a need for food and shelter, I am free. While I need treatment for illness attacking my body, I am free. While I know that I am going to die one day, I am free.

God has burst my bonds apart. I am no longer in the distress I lived in for so long.

Before I accepted Christ as my Redeemer, my life was like a teeter-totter. If things were good on the money front, the family front, the relationship front - I was balanced and well. If one of those things slipped, I had to totter some of the weight and importance on one of the other things to maintain balance. A few times, I lost my balance and very nearly fell off. I have contemplated suicide. I have lived so high up in worldly joys that I felt invincible.  With Christ covering me, I no longer have to keep my balance. I am held steady and true in my soul. 

I don't want anyone reading this to think that I don't still suffer from depression or fear or worry. The change is that I never, ever feel hopeless. 

Sorry if I went off on a little rant, but I always want to share how secure it feels to be under God's wings. This world is a hard place sometimes and I want everyone to find the hope that I have been blessed with.

"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings".

(Psalm 17:8)

I will try to remember to share what one commentary had to say about God protecting us the way the eagle protects her young. It was beautiful.

Peace

--Free

The Torah in Psalms

 During my Bible reading yesterday, I noticed something in my KJV Study Bible* for the first time - or, if I had noticed before, I'd forgotten!

The Psalms are divided into 5 books and each book (in my KJV) is headed with a section from the Torah. I just thought I would share this with any of you who, like me, were unfamiliar with the sections and headings.

• Book One - Psalms 1-41 The Genesis Book: Concerning Man.
• Book Two - Pslams 42-72 The Exodus Book: Concerning Israel as a Nation.
• Book Three - Psalms 73-89 The Leviticus Book: Concerning the Sanctuary. 
• Book Four - Psalms 90-106 The Numbers Book: Concerning Israel and the Nation.
• Book Five - Psalms 107-150 The Deuteronomy Book: Concerning God and His Word.

The Study Bible explains that:

"The fivefold arrangement has long been recognized, but no explanations for its origin has proved satisfactory. The most common is the early Jewish tradition that judged the five books to be an imitation of the five books of Moses..."

I just found it interesting and wanted to share the finding. None of my other Bibles detail this 5-book breakdown and I had never heard it mentioned in church before.

I am not sure that it means anything but, again, I found it interesting. If anyone has more information, please do share.

Peace

--Free 

* My Bible is the Liberty Annotated version of the KJV Study Bible. I bought it way back in 2004 in a Christian Bookstore in Anchorage. That store closed down long ago and I have not been able to find a copy of this Bible edition since. It is marked as being published both as The Liberty Annotated Study Bible and as The Annotated Study Bible, King James Version. The 1988 copyright is held by Liberty University. I have searched Amazon and see certain possible matches as "out of print".

Bread, Bread, Bread for Life

 I rarely toot the horn of a site if I haven't used their services but I'm going to make an exception. Recently, I found this site and I'm kind of excited. I have been checking out their blog also. 

The only reason I ever found Food to Live (FTL) was because my doctor has warned me to get a bit more serious about eating healthier things. I'm not eating super-junky stuff but I need to go harder at the fiber and nutrients than I have been.

The first change I made was to cut out the sliced garlic and herb turkey deli meat I so love for sandwiches. I switched up and kept everything else except for the meat and bread. Yeah. I now use high-fiber bread instead of brioche or Italian white bread and I just enjoy it with the avocado, tomato, and yellow onion. It's a tasty sandwich. Because of the delicious bread and the avocado, I almost don't miss the turkey.

This Aldi's Ancient Grains is the bread I started to fall in love with:

I need to be able to control
that sodium level...

It's pricey though. Like around 5 a loaf. I wanted to try Ezekiel Bread or Dave's Killer Bread but their prices make the Ancient Grains look like nothing.

I've switched over to eating a lot of cabbage and other greens, white meat, and using good oils. When I was going over my budget, I realized I need to find a way to afford really nutritious bread. So...

My family has asked what I want for Christmas. My answer: bread machine. I picked out one that will let me add nuts and seeds or just prep the dough so I can finish the rest myself. Then, while looking for affordable seeds and grains, I found Food to Live.

FTL recipes are heavily vegan and I am not interested. I just want to be able to make my own sprouted grains and seeded bread. It has to be less expensive than keeping Killer Dave in business. Those prices!...

Normally, I am not a big eater of bread. However, I would rather get full from eating a highly nutritious bread than eating a ton of veggies and fruits. I can only take so much of salad and chicken. With the right bread - seeded with tasty nuts - I could go from breakfast to dinner on just that with some butter.

In case any of you are interested, here are some links I have found to recipes. Enjoy.

• Easy Dutch Oven Bread  this one not only looks good but I can't wait to use my Dutch oven for bread
• Fast No-Knead Multi-Seed Bread and this one... that bread looks amazing.
• Seedy Sandwich Bread with Sprouted Wheat I'm not as visually excited by this one, but I love the idea that it's with sprouted wheat.

I was happy to see that The Prepared Pantry had this helpful write-up on designing whole grain bread recipes. That will go up on my fridge.

This all has me very excited to get my hands on that bread machine! In the meantime, I am going to start trying some of these recipes by hand. Pictures (good or bad) will be coming up...

Peace

--Free