Christian Fellowship for Introverts

As someone who has always been a "loner" by personality and (usually) preference, I struggle with the fact that the Bible speaks so much about the necessity of fellowship and assembly.

These verses feel so convicting to me:

• They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. (Acts 2:42)
• And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. (Hebrews 13:16)
• speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; (Ephesians 5:19)
• Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. (Colossians 3:16)

And the one that I really struggle with...

• Be hospitable to one another without complaint. (1 Peter 4:9)

So I can't even complain about it? LOL

I have no problem with being kind and hospitable. I will welcome almost anyone into my home. I just don't want to have to constantly entertain them. I'm pretty much like, Come on in and make yourself at home and I'll be in my room if you need me.

And then Peter has to remind me to not only be hospitable but to do so without complaint...

You know that verse runs through my mind every time I make some excuse not to commune with someone! That happens a lot now that I live in this very friendly and communal-atmosphere of a 55+ building. I think that most older people are retired or lonely and in need of company. Constantly. I feel bad, but I really do usually feel physically bad. When I do feel okay, I want to do all the things I wasn't able to during my sick days. Hanging out and idly chit-chatting is not one of the things I want to do.

This sounds horrible, but one of the reasons I don't attend church regularly is because it's so social. I think that if I could just go, hear the message, get something out of the message, then leave, I'd be okay. Instead, almost every church I've ever attended, fellow members want to chat before and after the service. And there's always a 'thing' - a luncheon or dinner or some other extra-service get-together. After about 10 minutes of idle chatter (or trying to avoid it), I just feel so worn down. And I also feel bad.

When I meditate on the Christian life, I often wonder if it's wrong for me to be so adverse to a lot of socializing? Even when I wasn't saved, I didn't like to over-socialize. I had to drag myself to company parties and functions and I'd leave as soon as I could without appearing rude. I never even liked being in nightclubs and bars much.  If I did go to those places, it was with a one or two friends and I kept to myself and my little group. There was no rabble-rousing, inviting other bar patrons to the table, or joining theirs.

My best friend is the one person who gets my introverted nature. She's a lot like me but she does get out more - especially for church and church functions. She teases me that I just don't like to join in the reindeer games!

Here's the thing: I don't mind small gatherings. Very small. The other night, I went to a Bible study/prayer get-together a neighbor hosts for people dealing with disabilities. I've either been too sick or too fatigued to make it before. I went and had a good time. I was truly blessed by the other two women who happened to be very sweet and kind and understanding. The atmosphere was comfortable because it was just 3 of us. That I can handle. If there had been five or more of us, my social anxiety would have kicked in.

I'm curious what other Christians think of this. Is it okay to be an introvert or do I need to work on being more social? I guess that's something I need to be praying about.

Peace
--Free



P.S.:  Just as I was finishing out this post,  I found this over on GotQuestions.Org and know that I need to pray about my personality...