Showing posts with label quarantine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quarantine. Show all posts

Sunday, January 9, 2022

Atmosphere and Moods

 Actually, it's been one of those weeks so, please, allow me to rant.

I feel tired and worn and sad and gray and blue and blank. My mood is heavy and weighted and wet and stormy. 

While talking to my neighbor yesterday, we both decided that, no matter how much we want to think otherwise, we are too affected by the people around us. And we are both pretty hermit-like.

When I first moved into this building, people were quieter, more polite, and stayed to themselves - or within their own little cliques. It was good. You could be social enough to briefly socialize while checking your mail in the lobby or sharing the laundry room or you could enjoy a bubble of solitude while having a coffee or reading the paper in the common room. It was a live-and-let-live kind of place. These days, people are nosier, gossipy-er, more bird-ish, and snoopy. 

My neighbor's past couple of weeks has been as bad as mine. While not as hermit-like as I am (she does most of her socializing outside the building), she likes to keep herself to herself as far as what's happening in her life. Apparently, the other day, she got wind of something that had been murmured about her. Something about her thinking she was "queen of the building". (She is the sort of person who tries to be kind and helpful when she can.) She told me how badly stung she felt by this rumor.

I - who am definitely very much the hermit - rarely socialize past the greeting-weather-apology sort of chat. I might on occasion ask someone about whether or not they heard any news about a local happening. I rarely know or care if or what my neighbors might be saying about me. However, the mood here has gotten a bit more high-schoolish. I am have occasionally noticed (or imagined) that someone might have looked at me funny and started or stopped whispering when I came into their view. The funny thing is, I never cared before. Before - maybe before the last eight months or a year or so - people here were, as I said, a bit more polite.

When my neighbor told me about her hurt feelings, I commiserated with her about how much better the atmosphere of the building used to be. And I realized that I might be more affected by the changes than I'd previously thought.

Maybe I am just feeling the effects of the quarantine. Don't get me wrong, like a lot of introverts, I am sort of good at being quarantined.

But not good Christianity

For the most part. The problem is, this lockdown might be the reason for other people behaving less civilly. And that might be causing me problems.

This makes me think of Proverbs 6:16-19 (my emphasis):

There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,   a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil,  a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers

I realize that not all of my neighbors are my Christian brethren but you would think that in a crisis, most people would become kinder and more neighborly. Wasn't it a thing once that hardship created friendship? Or am I delusional and having false memories about social history?

Now that I think about it, most of the people I know are starting to show the wear and tear of this global health crisis. 

One person I'm really close to recently told me that they actually feel under spiritual attack. They used those words: spiritual attack. And they weren't being dramatic. We prayed together and have promised to remain more prayerful. Like me, they seem to be under a weight of weariness.

If this crisis we are living in and under is going to be around for a while,  how are we to adjust to it? We better learn to adjust our moods and atmospheres. At the very least, I better develop some better coping strategies. My emotional health in the past several years has relied on a delicate balance of prayer and medications. Am I going to have to add to that arsenal?

Spiritual attack. That is not an exaggeration. I think the person I mentioned has touched on what might be my problem as well as his. Attack from the Enemy.

So I have turned to Ephesians 6:12 for guidance and I realize that while I had been focusing on the people who I saw as being the problem, I forgot the root of or the power behind the problem:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

More importantly, I have to remember that there is an answer to the problem. Still in Ephesians 6, in verses 13-18 (with my emphasis):

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.  Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.  In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;  and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of Godpraying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. 

So, let all of us Christian siblings pray for each other and be uplifting and encouraging. 

My plan now is to start focusing on the power behind the problem because, for the saved and unsaved, that is the real Enemy.

Peace

--Free

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Blessings I Forget To Count

The other day, I started sliding into one of my every-now-and-then-funks. I have put on 5 pounds, I need to deep condition my hair, and my meds made me sicker than usual. Yeah. And it was the 5 pounds that hit me hardest. I was struggling to zip my best pair of jeans and had to suck in deep to make that work. That sent me into an immediate sob session.

So, when I finished crying, I felt slightly better but was still determined to avoid looking in the mirror for a while. I was psyching myself up to practice better eating habits (at least for the day) and as I made a list of some fruits and vegetables to order for the week, a realization hit me.

I am so spoiled by the many blessings in my life that I often forget to count some of them. Or I tally them in the wrong column - under Trials instead of under Blessings.

I stood there in the kitchen, looking into a decently stocked fridge and chastised myself. Instead of ordering produce, I spent some time thanking God for the blessings I had just been crying over. This reminds me of the First World Problems community on Reddit. 

How dare I worry about gaining 5 pounds when there are people who aren't eating? I'm fat because I have an abundance of food. I just need to choose healthier meals. I can't get into my "best" jeans but I have enough clothing to call some of them my best or worst or too small, or too big, or - and this is shameful - too "dressy".

This quarantine situation is only "boring" to me because I am tired of my TV, computer, tablet, books, music, and peace and quiet. I can't imagine the people in this world that would give just about anything to have one of those luxuries. Just to live in a peaceful environment is worth all the fame and gold there is.

I'm sick from my medication because I live in a country where medication is available for my condition. I'm not some poor, diseased orphan, sitting around uncared for and dying of neglect. I have family and friends who care about my health and sanity, God help them. I go to a hospital with trained and equipped professionals who make it their mission to keep me alive and in a decent quality of life.

Every now and then, I have to remind myself to stop hanging my head in sorrow so that I can look up in joy. The other day, I forgot for a moment to count all these blessings. And, even when I am dealing with serious trials - you know, more serious than a blow to my vanity - I need to remember this:
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces [a]patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be [b]perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.(James 1:2-8 NKJV)
If the past several weeks have taught me anything it's that life can change in the blink of an eye. We should take nothing for granted - not the blessings or the trials we live with. This current situation might not be the beginning of the "last days" but we are each going to face our own personal last day at some point. Let's never forget to enjoy each pleasure and blessing because it could be for the last time. I want to live every moment of my life in thankfulness and hope.

Speaking of this global situation we are dealing with, I am truly thankful for it. Because of the pandemic, there are a lot of people having serious discussions online about life and death. More people are thinking about their eternity. Right now, I am so blessed to know what mine holds.

To end this post on a humorous note, I saw this meme going around about quarantined parents. I almost broke a rib laughing!



If you are going a little stir crazy, I have posted some resources over on Being Free.

Peace
--Free