Atmosphere and Moods

 Actually, it's been one of those weeks so, please, allow me to rant.

I feel tired and worn and sad and gray and blue and blank. My mood is heavy and weighted and wet and stormy. 

While talking to my neighbor yesterday, we both decided that, no matter how much we want to think otherwise, we are too affected by the people around us. And we are both pretty hermit-like.

When I first moved into this building, people were quieter, more polite, and stayed to themselves - or within their own little cliques. It was good. You could be social enough to briefly socialize while checking your mail in the lobby or sharing the laundry room or you could enjoy a bubble of solitude while having a coffee or reading the paper in the common room. It was a live-and-let-live kind of place. These days, people are nosier, gossipy-er, more bird-ish, and snoopy. 

My neighbor's past couple of weeks has been as bad as mine. While not as hermit-like as I am (she does most of her socializing outside the building), she likes to keep herself to herself as far as what's happening in her life. Apparently, the other day, she got wind of something that had been murmured about her. Something about her thinking she was "queen of the building". (She is the sort of person who tries to be kind and helpful when she can.) She told me how badly stung she felt by this rumor.

I - who am definitely very much the hermit - rarely socialize past the greeting-weather-apology sort of chat. I might on occasion ask someone about whether or not they heard any news about a local happening. I rarely know or care if or what my neighbors might be saying about me. However, the mood here has gotten a bit more high-schoolish. I am have occasionally noticed (or imagined) that someone might have looked at me funny and started or stopped whispering when I came into their view. The funny thing is, I never cared before. Before - maybe before the last eight months or a year or so - people here were, as I said, a bit more polite.

When my neighbor told me about her hurt feelings, I commiserated with her about how much better the atmosphere of the building used to be. And I realized that I might be more affected by the changes than I'd previously thought.

Maybe I am just feeling the effects of the quarantine. Don't get me wrong, like a lot of introverts, I am sort of good at being quarantined.

But not good Christianity

For the most part. The problem is, this lockdown might be the reason for other people behaving less civilly. And that might be causing me problems.

This makes me think of Proverbs 6:16-19 (my emphasis):

There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,   a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil,  a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. 

I realize that not all of my neighbors are my Christian brethren but you would think that in a crisis, most people would become kinder and more neighborly. Wasn't it a thing once that hardship created friendship? Or am I delusional and having false memories about social history?

Now that I think about it, most of the people I know are starting to show the wear and tear of this global health crisis. 

One person I'm really close to recently told me that they actually feel under spiritual attack. They used those words: spiritual attack. And they weren't being dramatic. We prayed together and have promised to remain more prayerful. Like me, they seem to be under a weight of weariness.

If this crisis we are living in and under is going to be around for a while,  how are we to adjust to it? We better learn to adjust our moods and atmospheres. At the very least, I better develop some better coping strategies. My emotional health in the past several years has relied on a delicate balance of prayer and medications. Am I going to have to add to that arsenal?

Spiritual attack. That is not an exaggeration. I think the person I mentioned has touched on what might be my problem as well as his. Attack from the Enemy.

So I have turned to Ephesians 6:12 for guidance and I realize that while I had been focusing on the people who I saw as being the problem, I forgot the root of or the power behind the problem:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

More importantly, I have to remember that there is an answer to the problem. Still in Ephesians 6, in verses 13-18 (with my emphasis):

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.  Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.  In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;  and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,  praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. 

So, let all of us Christian siblings pray for each other and be uplifting and encouraging. 

My plan now is to start focusing on the power behind the problem because, for the saved and unsaved, that is the real Enemy.

Peace

--Free

Jesus' Love Is Not Approval

 People are celebrating Christmas this morning.

(By the way, I no longer make a big deal out of Christmas. I exchange gifts with loved ones - as we do all year round - and I do respond to wishes of good tidings. So I hope everyone has had a wonderful time with family and friends this day.)

Now. I have a bone to pick with a tweet I saw this morning. I went on to Twitter to send a message to the support team for an appliance I have and I happened to see this tweet from David Corn in my feed:

That looks like a nice and positive message for the day that some people choose to celebrate the birth of Jesus. (Or for the day that a lot of us choose as a reason to go consumer-crazy.) 

The problem I have with that message is that it is all kinds of shady and misleading. Let's take a look at some of the shade being thrown.

First and foremost, the message implies that followers of Jesus (you know, Christians) are nothing like Jesus because... we follow the teachings of the Bible? It's as if we are being shamed for holding a set of beliefs that come directly from the Bible.

All of this part is true about Jesus. It's also true of many Christians today. Many.

But it makes it sound as if Christians today (or at least the ones Mr. Corn knows of?) would never be seen hanging around with "lepers, hookers, and crooks". He doesn't acknowledge the Christians who spend time working with those who are outcasts (because of illness, deformity, or otherwise), working the streets, or in jail.

Then there is this part:

Jesus was not anti-wealth. It isn't being wealthy that Jesus has a problem with. He just does not want wealth to come between man and salvation. We are not to put wealth above all. 

Because Jesus is not only the Son of God but God Himself, he was not anti-death penalty. He believed in punishment, he just did not want the condemned to die unsaved and unrepentant. 

He was certainly not anti-public prayer, he just did not want man using prayer to call attention to himself by trying to look holy and pious versus being holy and pious. Our prayers are for and to Jesus, not for the approval or admiration of others.

As far as the "anti-gay" mention, Jesus was never against any sinner - gay or otherwise. If the Lord is against sinners, he would be against me. His problem is with sin. 

Remember that Jesus is not just the Son of God but God Himself. God is anti-homosexuality - not anti-homosexual (or anti-liar, anti-thief, etc.). God made man and woman for each other and to procreate together. Man with a man or woman with a woman cannot procreate. I would not be here, you would not be here in that case. (Of course, now science is creating life from life without the need for male-female interaction. But they have not and cannot create life from nothing as God did.)

On the abortion issue, Jesus (God) saw life as it began at conception and, in fact, knew us before we were born, as mentioned in Psalms and elsewhere in Scripture. Taking life before a child is born is murder. 

I'm pretty sure Jesus (God) is not good with the abortion of the unborn child - unwanted or inconvenient - any more than he would be with the abortion/killing of the unwanted or inconvenient child already delivered.

And the birth control? Well, that comes back to the issue of procreation. We use birth control so that we can have the joy of sex without the inconvenience of pregnancy. Aren't we picky? 

This last one was the slickest one of the lot:

No, Jesus most certainly did not "slut-shame". He did, however, tell us to "go and sin no more". 

Listen. God (the Son, the Father, and the Holy Spirit) is not the who or what, or why that we sometimes want Him to be. He is who He is. We either chose to follow the Son or not. We can't choose which of his teachings to follow. We can't twist his teachings to fit our desires. (Well, we can if we want to, but we aren't fooling the Lord.)

I might be wrong but I don't think that Mr. Corn was trying to point out the goodness of Christ so much as he was trying to make Christ's followers look or feel bad. I think that what Mr. Corn might be trying to say is that we all need to be better people. I agree with that. I pray every day for the Lord to "create in me a clean heart" and to "renew a right spirit in me".  There are days when I am a disappointment to myself. I can be horribly judgemental and wrong-minded. I tell people that I am a work in progress. We all are, I think.

We Christians are not all walking as Christ would want us to but we are individuals. It's not fair to lump all of us in with the worst of us. It's also not fair to try tarnishing Christianity by holding every "bad" thing about it up against your personal ideals. 

I am not Christ. I am his follower. I try to live more by his rules than I do by any other. Being a "good" person doesn't make me a Christian. Being a Christian assures my salvation. It doesn't ensure that I will always be nice, kind, understanding, etc. Ask any of my family or friends or go read some of my blog posts.

By the way, although Christ loves all of us, and doesn't push any of us away because of our sins, he does not condone sin. He forgives them. But to be forgiven, we have to acknowledge that we need forgiveness. One cannot ask forgiveness for things they don't believe is sinful. 

One cannot happily, readily, purposefully, and - most importantly - unrepentantly indulge in sinful things and want forgiveness. That makes no sense. Either we want the sin or we want the forgiveness. 

Now, I am not a theologian, Bible scholar, or any kind of an expert in debate. As a matter of fact, I struggle with an illness that affects my cognitive abilities. I am just a Christian. I am sure that someone could find a better way to get across what I am trying to in this post. I just had to address Mr. Corn's tweet. I hope that he does not think I am attacking him. I think that he has a good heart. But I did have to respond in some way to his post on Twitter.

Peace

--Free

UPDATE **BOOK REVIEW** Pagan Christianity?: Exploring the Roots of Our Church Practices

UPDATE:

After talking with my brother about this book, I wanted to come and clarify why I think it's such an important read. Mostly, I have come to realize that I have been too often putting tradition over truth and focusing on too many of the wrong things.

One of the main criticisms I hear about Christians is that we are "blind sheep". I always lashed out at that in my heart. I have no problem being called a "sheep" in Christ's flock, but I never want to be a blind follower.

After my brother and I talked for close to 2 hours about this book, I have had to take a step back and re-examine much about myself when it comes to my faith and worship. I wish now that I could go back and re-do some conversations I have had with people who had questions about my faith.

If you are a Christian (or just an observer), you may wonder why we do what we do as far as how we worship. You would think we Christians would know the answer but I sure didn't before now. I think that I have always had questions about the "why" of Christian worship but never looked hard for answers.

1. Why do we dress up for church? In the COGIC church that I attended in my youth, dressing up was a really big deal. I remember that women had dresses that were only for Sunday. And for Easter or Mother's Day... Oh, boy.

2. Why does the clergy have special clothing - robes and collars, etc? Again, in the COGIC church, some ministers went way overboard with fancy colors and patterns. Some of them looked like college graduates with every kind of regalia known to man.

3. Why are choirs and music such a big part of most services? My late husband and many of his peers who played for the church were musicians of professional-level ability. And Whitney Houston was a slouch next to some of the singers in our choir.

4. Why do we put so much into the church building? There are many jokes among church-raised comedians about how many times money is requested in a service. There's the Building Fund, Outreach Fund, a fund for sending kids to summer camp, a fund for replacing the AC or heating or fixing the pews, one for getting the pastor and his wife an anniversary gift, and on and on. Smart congregants would separate their offerings before entering the church. 

5. Why do most of us treat our clergy as if they are not human and fallible? I clearly remember people going full fan-boy or girl when they were chosen to provide the "first family" with a between-services meal on Sundays. Some people went without or with less all week so that they could splurge on the Sunday meal for "pastor".

6. What is up with the guilt over tithing? I never understood tithing and rarely do tithe in addition to giving an offering at the church service.

After all these questions about the roots of worship, I made a list of questions to spend time thinking hard about:

1. Am I worshipping Jesus or am I worshipping traditions? In my case, I think it has been both. I left the church I went to as a young person but I fall right into the ways and conduct of whatever church I do attend. If pants are not allowed for women, I wear a dress. If communion is done a certain way, I follow along. 

2. Do I realize just how I am seen (as a Christian) by people outside my faith? And have I been honest in answering the questions of skeptics?

3. What else am I doing (as far as my faith and my Christian life) that I have not closely examined?

4. If I found the points made in this book so relatable, why have I never put much thought into them? This is a good question. I think that at the back of my mind, I did wonder about many traditions.

For a little over the past year, I have been going deep into Bible study. I didn't even think clearly about why the New Testament letters were written and to whom. As I have always done in reading the Bible, I just loved what I love about them and prayed about what I didn't understand. I realize now that I have been depriving myself of so much by not paying closer attention to context.

One thing I have done in the last few years is not attending church as a member. I occasionally attend with a friend or family member. I have not found a church that feels "right" to me. (I know. That's a lame reason not to go to church.) Mostly, though, I find that I get more from rigorous Bible study. 

The one question I am still trying to answer is how I can go forward with all the insight I got from reading this book. I know that there is a followup of sorts called 

***************

ORIGINAL POST

I love this book. I have questions and things to research and explore further but, basically, this book was a little bit life-changing for me.

(By the way, I got a used copy but you can find it new. It comes in different formats - audio, Kindle, paper- and hardback, and spiral.)

It's hard for me to articulate why this book impacted my way of thinking. I guess it's that the authors addressed so many of my personal concerns about the church and the way Christians behave. 

I truly think that this is a really good read for Atheists and others who currently have a problem with what they see of Christian "religion". Most of the people I know who object to or seriously question Christianity are really objecting to or questioning the behavior of the Christians they see and know.

This book covers the evolution (hah!) of many of the things we do as far as how we Christians treat the religion of Christianity. I have always said that I don't practice religion because I don't think of my faith in and reliance on Jesus Christ as a "religion". It's part of me. It's not what I do but what I am.

One of the first problems I had with the church I attended as a young person was how church was "done" if that makes sense. As a COGIC church, there was a way that services were conducted and a way that the members behaved in church, and the way that they treated the leaders of the church. It was all more worship of man and rules than worship of Christ.

One thing that was (and probably is) very common among the COGIC churches I knew is that the minister was very revered among the members. For example:

• The "first family" of the church (the minister's family) was treated as very special. Their kids were treated like dignitaries and everyone clamored to be in their orbit. If you were seen as part of their inner circle, you were envied.
• Members usually gave the minister and his wife elaborate anniversary gifts. I'm talking cars and cash and expensive jewelry. 
• In one church, the members would take turns having the first family over for Sunday dinner and they were treated like rock stars.

Another thing about the COGIC church was how members prided themselves on dressing especially well. Elaborate hats and hairdressing were popular in some churches; men wore expensive suits and cologne. And during special times or events - Mother's Day, Easter, etc - some churches looked like an Ebony Fashion Fair show. I always hated Easter service in some churches because I couldn't see anything for all the fancy hats. English ladies during Royal Ascot have nothing on black church ladies in the hat arena on Easter Sunday.

Some things that the book brings up never crossed my mind until I read about them. For instance, I never wondered about where the idea of Sunday School came from; why music is such a big part of services; why the various clergy dress the way they do; or why there is such a thing as clergy vs laypeople.

Oh, this book is an eye-opener.

Of course, my rebellious nature sprang up at the first few pages. I felt so vindicated about some things. Then I had to calm down. Because this book is not about stoking rebellion or rejection of "church". It's more about clarifying our focus on how and why we worship.

One of the more urgent things I am encouraged to do after reading this book is to find a copy of the Bible written chronologically and without chapter and verse markings.

This book wants us to worship deeper and more meaningfully without getting tangled up in the manmade inventions that have become such traditions.

So, yeah, I do recommend this book. As a matter of fact, one of my goals for 2022 is to get a copy to certain people I know. These are the people in my life who are looking for Jesus but only seeing the people who worship him in church. They don't see the church of believers because all they see are the buildings and the scandal and the complicated mess that we have made out of being followers of Christ the Savior.

We are only human and it is sometimes our nature to add so many ingredients to the dish that we can't remember what we started cooking.

Peace

--Free