Distraction Junkie (and Breaking the Habit)

 Like many Americans, I am a distraction junkie. There are some things I avoid because they are not healthy or helpful. But there is so much to avoid!

One day, I took the time to think about all the ways I spend my free time in a day. Reading or listening to the news and checking my phone; scanning social media and blog posting; watching entertainment (via online videos and streaming services); thinking about things that are not useful to my mental health or growth as a Christian; and doing Bible study. Sadly, Bible study came in last place.

I've been spending my free time in such an unbalanced and unhealthy way - for a Christian.

Here's how I know any of my time should be spent - sort of a daily to-do list:

1. Prayer and Bible study.
2. Critically thinking about any news I read or listen to.
3. Sharing my faith in some way.
4. Checking up with (or in on) friends and family.
5. Glancing at the news - just to know what major things are going on.

If there is time after that, I could write blog posts and scan social media - and that last part is not and should not be a loss if I don't get around to it.

I have allowed myself to become conditioned to live my life the way society doesn't mind. "Going along to get along", as my mother used to say. She would tell me that when I was in high school and wanted to do something because "all the other kids get to". It's not that she didn't want me to enjoy my teenage years. She just wanted me to have good reasons for why I wanted to do things.

These past few days, as I think about time and how little of it we have, I am trying to remember to ask myself why I want to do whatever it is I'm thinking of doing. I need to make that a habit.

Not only should I want to understand why I want to do something at a given time - read the news or scan social media, etc. - but also is it good for me at that moment. 

One blessing of having sarcoidosis is that I do have to think so much sometimes about how to do something. A lot of simple tasks take more concentration and focus. There was a time when I could knock out 3 or 4 blog posts at a time and schedule them to publish through the week. Now, on a good day, I can do one blog post and make sure it's clear and (mostly) free of glaring grammatical errors. (By the way, "big ups" to Grammarly!) 

Part of my problem is that I feel a bit ADHD and yet sluggish-minded. At the same time. LOL. It's a real thing, people. 

So. What does all of this mean?

I guess I'm trying to say that I have become aware of a problem and am trying to solve it. The problem is that I'm not spending enough time on the things that matter the most. The solution is so very simple: spend more time on the things that matter the most. 

I have come up with a plan. I need to create a habit of putting first things first. Bible study and prayer before anything else and then the other 4 things on my daily "to-do" list.

Putting the news last might be the biggest benefit to my mental health. That is where the biggest distractions are. The news these days if full of the worst of the worst and I'm not even talking about the natural disasters or crimes but politicians acting like unruly children and celebrities doing "the most" and some for more attention.

God is in control. Of everything that is going on around us. My worrying about it all can't change men's hearts or behaviors. But I can pray. I can study God's Word to understand why things are the way they are. I can read His Word to fortify myself with the promises He's given to those of us who follow Jesus. 

I'm trying to stop being a distraction junkie and become a more prayerful and mature Christian.

Peace

--Free

All Body & No Soul?

 I just read about this guy who's spending 2 million a year. To look and feel younger. He calls his program "Project Blueprint". 

This is his prerogative but I wonder how often he thinks about his soul? 

We are all living to die. No matter how hard we work to outsmart aging, we will not outsmart God. We are born, we live, then we die. Period.

As a woman in her sixties, I use face creams and body lotion. I try to eat right. I want to be healthier. I do miss my 20-year-old body - being thin and cute. But being 20, thin, and "cute" will never be my life goal. To each his own but, for me, emotional and spiritual growth are true goals. Growing into what God created me to be is a goal. Living eternally is a goal and that will not happen in this mortal body.

I'm not hating on this guy. I'm trying to understand him. My heart hurt a little when I read that he once felt so unhappy because of life stress and overwork. He said he was overweight, depressed, and nearly suicidal. His solution seems to be revamping his physical self. He obviously sees himself as the god of himself.

To be honest, even if I didn't believe in God and if I had all the money needed, I wouldn't want to pursue this guy's regimen. I needed a nap after just reading about his routine.  He's not even really living to live a life I'd want. He is living, eating, sleeping, and breathing an around-the-clock routine that excludes everything but this weird pursuit to live younger. When does he get to enjoy the benefits? 

One quote from him: 

"What I do may sound extreme, but I'm trying to prove that self-harm and decay are not inevitable."

Thanks to sin, all the self-harm was already a done deal. Decay - does he mean death? - is inevitable.

Money can buy good medical care but it can't buy life. Money can't buy a good time but it can't buy eternity. Money can buy things that make us temporarily happy but I wonder if this man is now happy. I wonder if he isn't just wearing himself out so that he doesn't think about the inevitable. 

Here's a quote from one article about some results of this "regimen":

Test results from doctors suggest that Johnson has the heart of a 37-year-old, the skin of a 28-year-old, and the lung capacity of an 18-year-old, Bloomberg's Ashlee Vance reported. 

What good does the skin of a 28-year-old do for a person with a deadened soul? I have a quote from the Bible that I wish this man would study:

For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked. (2 Cor. 5:1-3 NASB)

If I was so unhappy with my "earthly" tent that I'd spend 2 million dollars a year to pursue youth, I wouldn't want to live another year, let alone forever. 

I did say a little prayer for this man. I prayed that he will look to God for answers. I prayed that he will come to think of his soul as deeply as he is thinking about his physical body.

Peace

--Free

Depression & Joy

 Before I got saved, I had the idea that Christians didn't get depressed - I mean, not deeply, darkly depressed. I grew up as a victim of pamphlets with illustrations of only-happy Christians.  Happy, happy happy, joy, joy, joy, all the day long!  Well, I know now how false that is. At least part of it.

I am once again in the midst of one of my dark struggles with depression and I had to see my doctor. She's great and suggested the various options for getting through it this time. One of the questions a doctor always asks a depressed patient is if they feel like harming themselves. My answer: When I die, if someone says it's a suicide, call in the police! She knows that I am a Christian and that suicide is the one thing I would never do so we both did get a little smile that day.

I've struggled with what's called "mood disorder" all my life but things got worse when I was diagnosed with this autoimmune situation. But somehow my depression, no matter how bad it gets, does not cancel out my joy. It's hard to explain but there it is.

One day, chatting with a neighbor at the mailbox, I could tell she was feeling very down. A lot of people in my building are in their late 70s and 80s - a few are in their 90s - and it's tough getting older at any rate but especially when you are on a really limited income. Some of my neighbors - like the woman I mention - have outlived all their friends and some of their children. This lady is someone who had a really busy life and career as a mom and a teacher. These days, she is quite alone and, I think, bored. At the mailbox, we chatted about the up-and-down weather we've been having and I mentioned that if she was planning to go out anywhere, she should do it before the temps went back down. She said that she never goes out anywhere but to doctors' appointments because she has nowhere else to go. She seemed so lost and sad that it broke my heart.

This woman has a depression worse I think than my own. She once told me that when she lost her only child (he was fairly young at 53) just before she moved here, and she never really got over it. She was already a widow and her health is not awful but not great. She'd lost her one sibling but had hopes of spending her retirement with her spouse at least. She has no grandchildren and her one nephew (or niece?) lives overseas.

So here we are, two depressed older women - without spouses or kids. But she is depressed with no joy.

I have shared my faith with her, bringing it up during one of our casual chats about our common woes. She didn't seem interested and told me that she has never been "into church and all that". Ever since then, I have been trying to find a way to tell her that faith and hope are not about a building. Shame on me that I'm having trouble working that into one of our chats.

Thinking about people like this woman, I wonder if a doctor has ever asked her about her desire to live or die. I'd like to think that a doctor - any of her doctors - will see the signs of her despair and reach out with help.

For me, even though I am lucky to have such a doctor, my faith is my main lifeline. 

In the darkest kind of depression, I can hold onto the knowledge that my life has meaning. My existence here might not be as impactful as anyone else, but God has me here. There are times when I should have died - from doing crazy stuff in my youth to running into and with the wrong kind of people to just being a breath away from dangers I didn't even know about - but, for this moment, I am here. I matter to God if I never matter to anyone else. And that gives me joy and wonder that maybe I won't understand until my afterlife.

So today, I am thinking of all the people who struggle with their physical, mental, and emotional ailments. I am trying to remember to pray that they find Jesus and through him, peace.

I was trying to remember the verse that applies to this and just looked it up:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. 

And the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 MKJV) [my bold]

This is something I never understood when my mother spoke of it until I turned to God and gave my heart to Jesus. I hope that it touches someone today.

Peace

--Free